If you spend $1000 on a teapot then you deserve to suffer

Well, this product is even more offensive than the carnivorous furniture, and I suggest feeding the designers to the mouse-eating table. It's like they've read Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and got quite the wrong idea about the device that makes a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Apparently enough people weren't smart enough to appreciate a $1000 wireless teapot that only accept proprietary tea bags. After blowing through $12 million (in a Series A round led by Translink Capital) and spending three years trying to persuade tea drinkers to ditch their dumb teapots for one that uses an algorithm that "masterfully accelerates and extracts desired sets of flavor compounds while suppressing the extraction of undesired compounds," Teforia (pronounced tay-foria) is calling it quits.

"In our mission to deliver the best tea experience, we didn’t compromise on the Teforia Infuser technology, quality or the premium tea packaged within our Sips. The glass within the infusion globe and carafe are hand blown by a glass artisan, one at a time. We spent a tremendous amount of time pioneering our Sips tea container to be 90% compostable and completely recyclable. We went to these extraordinary lengths because we believe premium loose leaf tea should be delivered in the most delicate and sustainable way possible."

Bloody muppets. All you need is a mug and teabag, and a teapot if you're feeling really fancy.

However, the reality of our business is that it would take a lot more financing and time to educate brainwash the market and we simply couldn’t raise the funds required in what is a very difficult time for hardware companies in the smart kitchen space.

Apparently there are limits to human stupidity, and the desire for a $1,000 smart teapot is one of them. Thank goodness.

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