The BBC has chosen a rather unflattering set of photographs to mark the passing of Theresa May. I’m okay with this. I don't have a lot of sympathy for May - some, but not a lot. True, I'd have been even worse at her job than she was, but then, I wouldn't have chosen to do it.
The problem with May is that she is utterly useless. She tried her best and was extraordinarily resilient under immense pressure. No-one can doubt her commitment to the job and absolutely no-one should make fun of her for breaking down at the end of her resignation speech - that is heartless and pointless cruelty. In her place, I'd have collapsed in floods of tears at the very first PMQs.Saturday, 25 May 2019
Going nowhere slowly
But that doesn't change the blunt fact that she was also utterly shite and there are plenty of other, much better reasons to make fun of the mad old bat. She willingly chose to do a job she was shite at and kept going despite everyone repeatedly telling her very clearly that she was shite. She just does absolutely everything in the worst possible way. She fights when she should give way, remains stubborn when she should be flexible, does u-turns when she should hold her ground. When she compromises, she chooses the option that everyone hates the most rather than dislikes the least. If half the country said they wanted scrambled eggs and the other half said they wanted an omelette, she'd have given everyone a big bowl of pig intestines.
Unfortunately May's resignation is a pound of flesh does us not the slightest bit of good. The problems are the same as they’ve ever been. No course of action commands a majority in the House and a change of leader won’t alter that. A hard Brexiteer or a staunch Remainer as PM would likely split the Tory party. A compromise candidate will get nowhere. They’re screwed. So are Labour, unless a political thunderbolt wakes them out of their Brexit apathy.
I cannot see how any decision can possibly be taken without a second referendum. It’s that or MPs simply continue failing to choose until we finally crash out without a deal.
I suppose the only other option is the general election that Corbyn has been slavering over these past few years. The problem is that that only works if a) the parties present clear, distinct choices and b) one of them somehow achieves a substantial overall majority. But a) is very unlikely, because the choices between the Tories and Labour thus far have been between a medium Brexit and a light Brexit, i.e. whether we’d like our shit steak to be medium or medium rare. Hence b) is also unviable.
Normally I would agree with May that compromise isn’t a dirty word. But her deal took this too much to extremes. It wasn’t at all clear it delivered anything that anyone wanted at all, it was just bad all round. The closest proposal to a true compromise would seem to be the Common Market 2.0 idea, where we’d get minimum political regulation from the EU but maximum economic alignment (I doubt anyone would ever consider trying to get things the other way around). My guess is that this is still not a sufficiently different proposal for mass voter appeal. In order for any party to win outright, it has to be No Deal versus Remain. And unless we get a sudden Parliamentary miracle, there's no way to settle this without going back to the people.
In Pictures: Theresa May's career
Images from defeat in a mock election to life in Downing Street.
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